Last night I met up for the first time with one of my "matches". It went pretty well, much to my surprise. He was one of the guys who I actually messaged first so I had high expectations to begin with, but after talking with one of my friends who has been doing the online dating thing for about a month now, I was skeptical.
Before I actually put up a profile on the dating site I use, I was really hesitant for several reasons. The first reason was that I had done a fairly generic search on the site just to see what kind of guys were out there and two results came back of guys I already knew. The two guys are examples of the kind of guy I would never in a million years want to date. The first one was the most socially awkward guy in high school who is also super religious and would just not be compatible with me on any level. The other guy is someone who I know for a fact sells weed to supplement his income. The prospect of being matched with these guys was too devastating to bear so I didn't put my profile up right away.
But, on the way home from the awkward 5th wheel date from hell, which I described yesterday, I meekly asked Mario what he thought of online dating and he actually surprised me with his response. He completely supported the idea and made a good point that when we were all in university it was so much easier to meet people because you see new people every single day. But in the working world, you only see your colleagues and don't interact with new people on a daily basis, and when you do, they are usually work-related. Not only am I NOT looking for an office romance, but there are absolutely no eligible guys to date in my office anyhow! Compounded with the fact that I spend almost all my time at work, online dating really is the only viable option.
I was encouraged, but still had this idea in my head that there would be a stigma attached to me as being somehow pathetic or desperate, so I texted Amanda, whose opinion I can always trust, asking "On a scale of 1 to 10, how pathetic is online dating?" She also completely surprised me with her response, saying "I hope it's not pathetic cause I've been doing it for a month." I immediately called her to discuss her experiences and was informed that pretty much all of our single friends from law school were all trying online dating. It is actually a very normal and common thing for young, single professionals to do.
That is how I finally decided to hit the "publish" button for my profile and begin this crazy adventure.
So I've been e-mailing a few guys back and forth, and am pleasantly surprised that there appears to be some good humoured, intelligent men who are still single out there, which brings me to last night.
"WinterSleeps" and I met up at a lounge/bar type establishment after work yesterday for what was supposed to be a quick drink. I got there first and snagged a table facing the door and proceeded to scrutinize every man who walked through. I had WinterSleep's profile picture on my blackberry which I compared to every dude entering the restaurant. I didn't think I would be that nervous, but every guy who entered filled my body with anxiety. It didn't help that almost all the men there were significantly older than me and quite grey, and I was worried that maybe WinterSleeps had put much younger pictures of himself online and was about to pull a bait and switch on me.
Fortunately, when he finally walked in, I let out a big sigh of relief, as he was a fairly attractive guy (granted the two pictures on his profile have to have been the two best pictures ever taken of him). I was already half way done my first (of three) martinis so I was as relaxed as could be expected on a first date. Although, moments before he entered, it occurred to me that I didn't know if a handshake or a hug was an appropriate greeting in this circumstance so I madly texted Amanda for her opinion, to which she gave the most unhelpful response, "whatever feels right."
So, we shook hands rather awkwardly and started chatting slightly awkwardly as well, but let me tell you, three martinis and two and a half hours later, we were talking very comfortably with each other. It wasn't until I got home after nine that I realized I hadn't eaten dinner!
So all in all, it was a positive first experience. I don't think he is "the one" (not that I am a sole mate believer), as he seemed a bit too serious for me. Also, a few things mentioned in our e-mails I found out were slightly exaggerated, but I guess that is to be expected when you are trying to attract someone you've never met. Interestingly, I found out he was in a band that was nominated for a Juno award a few years ago, which is something he didn't mention on his profile. If I were him, I definitely would have started with that tid bit!
I think I would go out with him again now that we know a bit more about each other to see if his sense of humour was just hiding. But tonight, I'm going out with bachelor number 2, so wish me luck!
Genuineboy: "Are you able to give me a call tonight before bed to chat for a bit while we fall asleep?"
P.s. My new policy is handshake to start, and if it was a positive experience, a hug to end.
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