Now that it has been two weeks since I posted my profile:
174 people have viewed my profile;
27 e-mails have been exchanged;
26 people have "winked" at me;
3 people have "favourited" me; and
2 people have met me in person.
While I am getting savvier day by day at the whole online dating world, there remains some questions I am unsure of, specifically regarding online dating etiquette. When is it appropriate to acknowledge someone's interest in you and when is it acceptable to just ignore someone?
There are probably different views on this issue, and as someone who tends to flee from personal conflicts, I lean towards the whole avoidance tactic. I would say I respond to maybe 1/5 of the e-mails sent to me through the dating website; the others I just ignore. Is that okay, or am I being rude by not responding to people I have no desire to talk to?
Does online dating etiquette dictate that you respond to every wink, nudge, favourite, e-mail, etc.? I mean, there have been a couple e-mails that I have sent out with no reply, and I am not offended or desperately waiting to hear from them. I guess in my take on this issue, I am assuming that others share a similar approach of e-mailing a few people who seem interesting and then leaving the ball in their court. I hate rejecting people so much that I have actually plagiarized one of Amanda's "rejection e-mails" that she sent to a guy she met up with but didn't want to see again.
I'm trying to think of how this issue translates into the "real world" dating experience. If I was at a coffee shop and some random winked at me or approached me with a cheesy line, would it be appropriate to ignore him or tell him to get lost? I think most people would say yes to this question, but what about the sincere, good-intentioned but slightly awkward dude who means well but doesn't interest you? Is he owed more of an explanation, and should he be humoured a little so as not to hurt his feelings?
I think one of the beautiful things about online dating is that you can be more assertive than in real life. A couple months ago, I was at a bar with a couple girlfriends of mine who pointed out that I lacked any skill in warding off unwanted advances. So I spent the night trying to be more assertive. I danced with one guy until it dawned on me that he was a tight-shirt, gold chain wearing, idiot on steroids (this fact occurred to my friends much sooner than to me) at which point I gave him a fake phone number when he asked for my digits. I was proud of myself for not giving him my real number but thought I could do better, so I told the next guy who approached our table to go away on no uncertain terms. I thought I did great until one of my friends said I might have been a little harsh and he wasn't as creepy as most of the other dudes there so I should have let him down a little softer. I felt so bad, I went over to his table to explain that it was nothing personal against him and that I was just learning how to be more assertive. This conversation only made things worse and super awkward for everyone.
I guess, as in real life, the issue of when to avoid, when to tell off, and when to let someone down softly is a decision to be made on a case-by-case basis. But I must admit, it is fun to tell guys off when their arrogance and love of themselves is so very apparent from a three sentence e-mail. For example, on my first post I quoted DustyBlueEyes who stated that he met "a plethora of people who perceive [him] as an intellectual god". I responded by telling him that in addition to being godlike, he is modest too. He responded by telling me he was joking but that he was serious about being a really good speller. I responded by correcting his use of the word "effect" which should have been "affect".
And a few days ago, Cgymaks send me a message saying "you give me a good vibe so whatcha say sweetheart. I know my age may throw you off but I assure you my head is on straight and one convo with me you would totaly dig me lol I'm sure of it hun," to which I replied, "I don't "dig" people who call me "sweetheart" or "hun"".
Maybe online dating is really just an outlet for my pent up bitchyness?
Kebede: is really good at "make funny for averybody make for them samething to eat"
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